


A Familiar Stranger

by Starker1975



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Angst and Humor, Bottom Peter Parker, Catfishing, Chatting & Messaging, Dialogue Heavy, Eventual Happy Ending, Father/Son Incest, Hurt Peter Parker, Identity Reveal, Incest, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent/Child Incest, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Secrets, Starkercest, Teen Angst, Texting, Top Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29316840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starker1975/pseuds/Starker1975
Summary: Peter's tired of being single, but online dating scares him, so he creates a fake profile to scope out the playing field before fully committing. He isn't sure what to think when he sees his dad's profile on the app.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 66
Kudos: 177





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! So first, surprise, I'm not just reposting old shit to this account, I'll be posting new stuff too. :)
> 
> Second, this story is about father/son incest, and if you don't like it keep it to yourself because I write what I want, and hate comments will not persuade me to stop.
> 
> Third, the dating app portrayed in this fic is like a hybrid of all apps, so you can picture whichever app you want. I'm not too familiar with apps beyond knowing that I hate them lmao, so if something's inaccurate, try to look past it.
> 
> Please enjoy!! Let me know if I've missed any tags or something, or if you see any glaring errors lol.

Peter was having a decent day at school until it was time to go to the cafeteria for lunch. As much as he loved his friends, and as happy as he was that Ned had Betty and MJ had Miles, he hated being the fifth wheel. He hated having nobody. When he was actually in class, he could focus on whatever subject it was, but in between periods, during lunch, and at extra curriculars, his relationship status became apparent.

He’d tried with Liz the year before, but there hadn’t been a fairy tale ending to that tryst; they’d gone to the dance, and it had been…okay, but he had built the crush up in his mind so much that by the time it came to being dropped off by his dad at the Toomes’ house, he hadn’t even wanted to go to the dance anymore.

“She seems like a nice girl, Pete. Hell, a senior too,” Tony had said. “Have fun.”

“What are you gonna do with me out of the house?” Peter had teased. “You’ll have the place to yourself.”

“I don’t think you wanna know.”

Tony hadn’t even needed to explain himself further because Peter knew that when his dad was out of the house, and he was alone, the first thing he did was whip it out. His dad never shied away from dirty jokes, either.

“Ew, Dad. Gross.”

Tony had just laughed and waved him goodbye, but the dirty image of his dad jerking off hadn’t left his mind. Then Peter’s thoughts had turned; he wondered if his dad was having a date over, or something. It was difficult to concentrate on the dance or Liz after that.

Insult to injury was leaving the dance early on foot, so he wouldn’t have to bother his dad, arriving home, and finding Tony passed out on the couch anyways. T.V. on, pizza box on the coffee table, a few empty soda cans, and very alone—much to Peter’s satisfaction; he wasn’t quite ready for a stepparent of any kind hanging around.

“Wow, he really partied it up.” Peter had smiled fondly and made sure the throw blanket was covering Tony adequately before going up to his own room to pass out.

Peter felt a little guilty for being so bitter about the idea of his dad finding someone to spend his time with, especially since he only wanted his dad to be happy and because he wanted someone as well, but not guilty enough to banish the feelings completely.

He and Liz didn’t have much cause for talking after the dance disaster, but there was no weirdness between them since she was going to be leaving the state for university regardless. 

The next contender after Liz was Flash. They became seniors, and Peter had thought the thing he had with his classmate—rivalry with a side dish of bullying—could’ve been the plot of a typical romantic comedy. _Two boys constantly at odds with one another put aside their differences…_ But Peter only liked the idea for its cute notions more than he actually liked Flash since there was only so many times he could be teased and called Penis before any chances that his reaction to a romantic reveal would be positive disappeared.

Peter tried to picture himself with almost every single person in his grade, and when nobody stood out, he considered those in the grade below, but that was a step in the wrong direction since the juniors might as well have been in pigtails and Velcro sneakers. Peter thought he looked young for his age, but the grade elevens looked like children. Since his options within the student body were limited—zero—Peter turned his attention to a couple of the teachers, but none of them were both single and normal.

Peter guessed if he was every going to find someone, it would be at college or when he eventually got a full-time job, but he didn’t want to wait a few more months or years. He wanted someone to spend the summer with. Originally, he’d wanted someone to spend lunch with mostly so he wouldn’t be the only one of his friend group without a partner, but that ship sailed as the school year dragged on, and he had to alter his goal (lower the bar).

Then he wondered if he should even bother with anyone at all. He and his father could just chill out at home like they always did. They had a pool, and their home was less a house and more a mansion. Did he really need a boyfriend or girlfriend to complete him when he had a decent homelife? Peter loved his dad, so it wouldn’t be that much of a bummer, and if he was going to be busy with college come September, getting in a little more quality time could only be a good thing. He knew his dad would never admit it, but he’d be lonely in the house all by himself.

The entire thing stressed Peter out and made him want to re-evaluate his entire life. What did he even want? Who did he want?

He wanted security and stability—he knew that much—someone he knew would always be there for him, and someone who wanted him to be there for them also. Someone mature and looking for something long-term. Maybe they could even have some stuff in common. Not everything, but an interest in science and science fiction was a must. And ideally, someone his father would approve of.

He was about to graduate, but nobody older would want someone his age unless they had loose morals. Even with all the people he met through decathlon, band, robotics, and his countless extra-curriculars, he still hadn’t met anybody that sparked his interest.

Not that he didn’t like his classmates, or that he thought they were unattractive. He just didn’t feel anything for them. They weren’t right. He talked to them sometimes during group projects, but holding a conversation didn’t tick enough of his boxes to settle just for the sake of being in a relationship.

That only left online dating which he disliked on principle since it seemed so shallow, but at least it would give him a better idea of who was out there. If he didn’t find anyone, that would be the end of it. He could say that he had tried, and he would have better luck in September at college, and he would just spend the summer with his dad like he always did.

* * *

Peter didn’t want to expose himself or reveal his identity on a dating app before he saw who he was dealing with, so he created a profile with a stock photo of a lesser known but cute actor, and then he filled out his bio with generic information.

He set his age to 18 since that was the minimum age required. He was 17, but turning 18 in August, so it wasn’t too much of a lie. Plus it was a fake profile, and his intention was only to see who was on there, make sure nobody he knew would see him since he felt a bit embarrassed to be using an online dating service, and if he saw the coast was clear, he’d delete his fake profile and replace it with a real one.

He adjusted the search parameters to locate people that were between 18 and 25, set his sexual preference to men to start, and started browsing his prospects.

It took him a couple days of sifting through his options, and he could count on no hands the number of guys who interested him. Most of them seemed like jerks or considered having a dog or smoking weed as a substitute for a personality. The girls weren’t much better since every other profile was a couple searching for a third person to make a threesome or a girl saying they “don’t message first and suck at replying xx”. Waste of time.

After a few more days of the same story, Peter decided to throw caution to the wind and remove the search filters altogether. Men and women of all ages at the maximum number of miles away. That had to turn up someone.

Peter became slightly more pleased after he’d made those adjustments. One man named Bucky who had cute pictures of his cat and his motorcycle stood out. A rougher looking guy named Frank had some photos of his tattoos, but he was a little too intimidating for Peter to feel completely comfortable pressing the heart on the bottom of the page that would indicate his interest. Fake profile or not, he wasn’t messing around with that...

Peter was discouraged when he went through the list of people who had pressed the heart on his profile. Not many were there, and the men and women who had expressed interest in him didn’t appeal to him. He also imagined that some contenders had recognized the photo of the actor and realized he was a catfish.

He decided he was being desperate and backed off the site after someone he wasn’t even interested in had started a conversation, and he decided to indulge the stranger because he was that bored and lonely. He reinstated his filters to include people much closer to him and men only. He left the age range from 30 to 45 since he’d exhausted his options of the younger demographic as far as he was concerned. He hesitated at the 45, though. After a moment of deliberation, he changed it to a 50. His own father was 48, and he loved him more than anybody on the planet, so he didn’t want to be too hasty in his decision to rule out the entirety of the middle-aged population.

He checked the list of men who’d hearted his profile periodically, always hoping someone new would show up. May turned into June, and graduation and summer approached quickly, and Peter was going to call it. What was the point of being on the app under a fake profile anyway? If he found someone, it wouldn’t be like they were actually interested in him, they’d be interested in “Tom”, and if he ended up liking someone, how would he break it to them that he was a catfish? It wasn’t going to end well.

Peter felt stupid that it had taken him this long to see that his plan was a failure, so he logged into the app one last time to deactivate his profile. Just then, a new notification popped up: _You’ve got an admirer! Tony, 48, within your range._ His first reaction was excitement; he wanted to check out the man’s profile and see if he was worth talking to. It would give him hope that creating a real profile would be worth his time if there were actually decent options after all. His second reaction was thinking what a coincidence it was that the man shared his father’s name and age. His third reaction was panic when the picture and profile loaded, and he discovered it was no coincidence.

In his own house, his own father was on a dating app, using the picture he’d taken of him only a few days prior. So the profile was newish, he deduced that much. _The deception._ Peter had originally thought it was a bit amusing, but then when he thought about it further, he felt sick. Who did his dad think he was? What the hell was he looking for on a dating app? Wasn’t their life just the two of them good enough anymore? And he was obviously looking for men. What the hell was up with that? Since when?

Peter fumed. He stared at his dad’s profile and wondered what he should do about it. He considered going to confront the man. He glared harder at his phone when he realized he wouldn’t have to walk very fucking far to do it. Tony was in the next room. Probably chatting up some twink while he thought about what to do. After all, his profile that listed him as 18 years old wouldn’t have shown him his father’s profile unless Tony also had his settings tweaked to show him people in that age range.

Peter wondered if maybe his dad was only using the app and searching people the minimum age in an attempt to catch him if he ever decided to use the app. If he hadn’t made a profile that concealed his identity, then it would’ve worked. He couldn’t be so sure, though. His dad was a genius sand knew him well, so another possibility was that his dad knew it was him despite the catfish photo and had liked him as a joke. Like a, _hey, I caught you, young man, we’re going to have a discussion about this._ That was creepy, though, and a bit unlikely. His dad had always trusted him; he wouldn’t waste his time with something like that when he could just ask flat out. They were open with each other, but maybe they weren’t? Peter hadn’t known his dad was doing this or that he was interested in guys. 18 year old ones at that. What else didn’t he know?

He tried to make himself feel better about it—maybe Tony wasn’t searching for a new wife or a replacement mother but rather a casual companion. Maybe he was experimenting with men? Or maybe it wasn’t an experiment and he’d known his interests all along but hadn’t bothered to share them with his own son? No matter how Peter looked at it, he was pissed. What did his dad need a companion for when they got along perfectly fine? And someone so young?

Peter felt hurt and betrayed, but something kept him from closing the profile. Mostly curiosity about what in his profile had piqued his father’s interest enough that he would heart him. Curiosity to know who else he was talking to and about what?

_Hey. I enjoy reading, listening to music, and watching movies (especially sci-fi). Hit me up if you want to Netflix and Chill, and by that, I mean let’s actually watch something. Maybe the Chill part could come later, but I’m not super into the casual sex thing. Then again, maybe I am if you’re cool. Talk to you soon._

Peter admittedly thought it was cheesy and more long-winded compared to his counterparts’ profiles which showed flashy pictures of abs and people holding fish they’d just caught. Some men didn’t even bother with words in their profile, others only included an eggplant emoji.

His dad’s profile was slightly classier but vague and mysterious—which was apparently fitting since Peter was realizing he didn’t know very much about the man.

_If you want to know more about me, ask. Prepare to be impressed._

Peter rolled his eyes. Typical. So good-looking and cocky. The complete opposite of him. Sometimes he wondered how he was even related to his dad.

What he really wanted to do was find out what exactly his dad was up to. If he didn’t know he liked guys or was looking to date, what else didn’t he know about him? He thought they told each other everything.

Peter bit his lip and clicked the heart on Tony’s profile. His heart raced while he imagined his father in the other room on his phone right now getting the notification _Tom likes you! It’s a match! Click to send him a message._

After no response for a full day, Peter had to come to terms that clicking on the heart wasn’t enough. To get his dad’s attention, he’d have to send him a message.

_Tom: Hi._

_Tom: I’m curious to know exactly how you’ll impress me. :)_

Peter’s cheeks flamed when the idea that his dad might send him a dick pic entered his mind. He was pretty sure that his dad wasn’t disgusting enough to send an unsolicited one, but it wasn’t a crazy notion.

Peter sat back and waited, praying that his dad would take the bait. After barely a minute and after Peter had almost chewed his nails down to the bone, he got the notification.

_Tony: Hi, Tom. I wondered if you’d work up the courage to message me._


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tom" and Tony chat a little more on the app, and Peter's hurt is hard to hide from his dad when they interact in real life.

Peter rolled his eyes at his father’s opening message. Typical sarcasm, and he hadn’t even answered Tom’s question. What made him so impressive? Of course, Peter knew very well all the things that made his dad impressive, so it didn’t matter, but he felt indignant on behalf of his online persona, so he decided to give Tony a bit of attitude. See how he liked it.

_Tom: I had hoped you would message me first…making me do all the work? Idk if that’s so impressive._

It made sense that his dad would elicit such a response—attitude—from him online, since he often did in person as well. Peter loved Tony, but he could admit the man had some difficult personality traits. That was what made this so perfect, though. Peter had 17 years of experience handling his dad and knew how to talk to him, how to play things to get him interested.

The problem was that Peter was just realizing now that he could get his dad interested, talking about science and whatever else, but his pitfall was _keeping_ his dad interested. After all, why else would Tony be online searching for a new boy toy if being a father to his son wasn’t enough. What Peter wanted to know was _why._ Why wasn’t he enough for Tony anymore? It had been them against the world since Peter’s mother passed, and they talked about everything together, did everything together. What had changed? Peter was hoping that if his father wouldn’t open up to him face-to-face, then maybe he’d tell Tom.

All he had to do was be who he always was since Tony seemed to like that well enough, but then combine it with a more flirtatious and spunkier persona—Tom. Get Tony hooked, get him to trust him, then Peter could get to the bottom of why his dad was using the dating app.

_Tony: So what made you give in?_

_Tom: I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try…you’re so hot._

Peter felt weird saying things like that to his father, but it was necessary if they were going to get anywhere and if he was going to get answers. Men, and his especially his dad, responded extremely well to flattery.

_Tony: I thought you seemed like a sweet talker. Glad to have it confirmed._

His dad’s flirtatious response sent the last tendrils of hope that it was all a misunderstanding or a joke out the window. Tony didn’t know it was him and hadn’t been using the app to catch him. He was on the app for his own purposes.

_Tom: What can I say?_

_Tony: I could think of a few things. ;)_

_Tom: Would you consider yourself a sweet talker?_

_Tony: As cocky as it sounds, hell yes._

_Tom: Yeah, that definitely sounds cocky._

_Tony: Too soon to make a dirty joke?_

_Tom: Making a joke about cock from the word cocky seems way too obvious._

_Tom: Again, I thought you were supposed to be impressing me._

_Tony: Who says my joke was going to have anything to do with cock?_

_Tom: Everybody in the world who has and will ever lived, including me._

_Tony: Fine, you’re right. I was going to go with that._

_Tom: Tsk tsk._

_Tony: Forgive me, Tom. Let me make a better impression. A more…impressive one._

_Tom: Okay, that one was pretty good._

_Tony: Got it, you like lame jokes and not dirty ones._

_Tom: Hey, I never said I didn’t like dirty jokes. Just not such obvious ones._

_Tony: I have to say that’s fair._

_Tom: Then we’re on the same page. :)_

Tony didn’t respond after that, and Peter would’ve felt uneasy if it had been normal circumstances, and he was talking to an actual stranger, but as it were, he could hear his dad walking down the hallway, so he knew he wasn’t being ignored. His dad was just busy.

Peter got up from his bed and decided to intercept his father before he got to the stairs. Maybe if he played his cards right, he could get Tony to buy them takeout. A nice little recompense for his pervy deception.

“Dad!”

Peter laughed in satisfaction when Tony put a hand to his chest and gripped the bannister.

“Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me.” Tony narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“No, maybe a mild stroke though.”

“You’re evil.”

Peter didn’t deny it since he felt pretty evil for what he was up to behind closed doors. Deceiving and manipulating his father. That wasn’t exactly good behaviour (although in his eyes, his dad deserved it). But even still, he did feel a little guilty joking about giving his dad a heart attack. He might not be pleased with him, but he didn’t want him to die.

“What do you want for dinner?” Tony asked once Peter didn’t say anything.

“What?” Peter realized he’d been staring a hole into the floor and hadn’t been listening to a word.

“Dinner. Heard of it?”

“Oh.” Peter ran a hand through his hair. “I was thinking pizza.”

“Pizza, interesting.” Tony ran his fingers along his goatee. “You make an excellent case.”

Peter hated that the man still made him laugh even when he was pissed at him.

When the pizza arrived, Peter was tempted to abscond with it and eat in his room, but he had to act natural around his dad as hard as it was. It wouldn’t do if he started behaving suspiciously and accidentally gave himself up.

They ate at the dining table since they needed the extra space for all the boxes. Their ridiculously large pizza order would be lunches and dinners for the next few days. Maybe even breakfast too.

Peter’s cheeks heated when Tony turned on the flatscreen TV and brought up Netflix, so they could watch a new episode of their show. When he wrote that he was interested in Netflix and Chill in his dating profile, he hadn’t imagined that the guy he’d find to do it with would be his father.

He wasn’t even paying attention to the show or the food. His entire focus was on his dad. What was he thinking? Did he want to watch Netflix with Tom? Would he rather be hanging out with someone else? Peter hadn’t felt this way since he’d left Liz at the dance, a pit in his stomach weighing him down during the entire walk home as he thought of finding Tony canoodling with some stranger in their own living room. That had turned out to be nothing, but this wasn’t nothing. Peter now had proof his dad was on the hunt.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asked. “You only ate two slices. That’s like war rations for you.”

Peter shrugged.

“Did you want something else? I could order some Chinese food for seconds.”

Always so caring and kind-hearted to his face but consorting and probably sexting twinks online behind his back. Peter felt sick, and he didn’t know why it was affecting him so much. Logically, who cared what his dad was doing online? Who cared if his dad dated when it had been nearly fifteen years since his mother passed? Tony was an adult, and Peter was growing up, and maybe his dad shouldn’t be single anymore, but he couldn’t help hating the idea. It had just been them for so long, and he’d always been enough, so what had changed? And why couldn’t his dad just talk to him? They’d always talked about everything. Now they were making small talk about dinner options, and Peter felt like he couldn’t trust anything anymore.

“No, it’s cool.” Peter tried to seem unbothered. He hoped it would work.

Tony narrowed his eyes. “ _Narcos_ not doing it for you anymore? Too violent?”

“No,” Peter scoffed. “I can handle it.”

“Then what?” Tony pressed.

“It’s nothing, just leave it alone.”

Tony gave him a searching look and then shrugged. “Fine.”

“Fine,” Peter repeated.

Tony looked back to the TV for a few minutes, but Peter could tell he wasn’t really watching it, and he hadn’t touched the rest of his pizza either.

“I’m sorry.” Peter sighed. “Seriously. It’s nothing.”

Peter thought his dad was going to ignore him for a split second, but then he nodded.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

_No. I don’t know that. Not anymore._

“Yeah, for sure. I know.”

“Good.”

“You can too, you know. Talk to me.” Peter averted his eyes after he said it, choosing to focus his eyes on a particularly large spice on the pepperoni.

“If anything comes up, I know where to find you,” Tony joked.

“I would hope so. I’m one door away.” Peter couldn’t help smiling a little bit.

“God, that close, huh? Ever heard of personal space?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well you’ll be getting plenty of personal space in September.”

Tony laughed. “Good riddance. I’ll have to throw a party or something to celebrate.”

Peter had heard that joke fifty times now, and it had always been funny because he’d been sure that his dad had been teasing. It hit a little differently now. It hurt. He wasn’t so sure that it was a joke.

Peter managed a tight smile. “Yeah, I’ll be throwing one too once I get to Cambridge.”

“That’s the spirit. You’ll finally be rid of the old man.”

Peter wanted to throw a piece of pizza at his dad’s face. For someone so smart, he could sure act like a fucking idiot. How dare he insinuate that Peter wanted to be rid of him. How dare he joke about being glad that his only son was going off to school and moving out. What the hell was wrong with him? Peter wondered the same about himself, though. He’d never minded these jokes before, and now he was so sensitive and found no humour in the situation at all. Probably because Tony had Tom now. Probably because now for the first time, he didn’t really want to go to school. For the first time he was in danger of being replaced.

Peter left the table without another word. He could just watch the episode by himself if he wanted to know what happened. He doubted he would though since he’d only agreed to watch it since his dad had been interested. Obviously, the favour was meaningless to Tony. So fuck him, and fuck _Narcos_.

He went up to his room and locked the door before retrieving his phone from where he’d left it in his bed.

_Tony: :)_

Peter rolled his eyes. That’s all he could come up with? He checked the timestamp and saw it was sent only a minute ago. Of course. His dad couldn’t be bothered to come up to see why he’d left the table, but he could message Tom.

The fire Peter had felt upon first seeing his dad’s profile came back to roaring life. He had actually been considering deleting his account and respecting his dad’s privacy, well fuck that. If Tony wanted to act up, then Peter was going to act up too.

_Tom: What are you up to?_

_Tony: I just had dinner._

_Tony: What about you?_

_Tom: Same. What a coincidence…both of us eating dinner at dinnertime._

_Tony: How strange. What are the odds?_

_Tom: Right? I wonder what else we have in common._

_Tony: Despite the generational gap, I suspect there’s got to be a few things._

_Tom: Well what shows do you like to watch?_

_Tony: Not too many. I’m more of a movie guy._

_Tom: Me too! :)_

_Tom: I watched Mindhunter recently, though. That was good, but apparently there’s no season 3 for a while. So bummer._

_Tony: You like that show? I wouldn’t have guessed that._

_Tom: Really? Why not?_

_Tony: It’s dark, and you seem like a bit of a softy._

_Tom: I take that as a compliment, but don’t underestimate me! I like lots of stuff._

_Tony: Hannibal?_

_Tom: One of my favorites._

_Tony: The Walking Dead?_

_Tom: Lame._

_Tony: How dare you._

_Tom: What? You have to admit it’s getting a bit repetitive._

_Tony: No I don’t._

_Tom: It was good until season 6, I’ll give you that._

_Tony: Conformist._

_Tom: Okay, what about Narcos? Have you seen that?_

_Tony: I’m on season 2 right now._

_Tom: That’s a good sign. You either know Spanish or are smart enough to read subtitles._

_Tom: Both bode well for you._

_Tony: It’s both._

_Tony: I’ll have you know I can speak a lot of languages._

_Tom: Wow brag much?_

_Tony: I told you earlier I was cocky._

_Tom: So we’re back to that._

_Tony: Yes._

_Tom: I can be cocky too you know._

_Tony: Can you? You seem way too sweet for that._

_Tom: You thought I was too soft to watch Mindhunter, and I proved you wrong, so I’ll prove you wrong about this too._

_Tony: Just because you watch shows about murder doesn’t mean you’re not soft._

_Tom: What does it mean, then?_

_Tony: My money is on that you watch it with somebody else to make them happy._

_Tony: That or you’re lying to yourself._

_Tom: Maybe I like shows about murder because I’m secretly a freak and getting ideas._

_Tony: Don’t make me laugh._

_Tom: Maybe that’s why YOU watch them._

_Tony: Maybe. Who’s to say?_

_Tom: You’re ridiculous lol_

_Tony: I know._

_Tom: Okay fine maybe I don’t really like the violence, but the cinematography and the_ _stories and characters are interesting. That’s a good enough reason to watch._

_Tony: In other words, you watch them to make someone else happy, and you’re scrounging to see the positive in it._

_Tom: You’re twisting my words lol._

_Tony: Just trying to get to know you…if you like the shows, fine, but if you don’t, don’t watch them. Why try to force yourself to watch stuff you don’t want to?_

_Tony: Unless it’s for someone else._

_Tom: Well don’t you ever do that?_

_Tony: All the time._

Peter frowned at his phone. This was news to him. Was his dad pretending to like their favourite movies and shows? Did he discover yet another falsehood about their life together?

_Tom: Give me some examples._

_Tony: A friend of mine loves old war movies, and I positively detest them, but he puts up with me, so I return the favor._

Rhodey.

Tom: Lol I hate war movies too.

Tony: Another friend of mine likes Downton Abbey…don’t even ask me how many episodes I’ve watched. It was traumatic.

Happy.

_Tom: That show’s not too bad. Kind of funny if you really pay attention._

_Tom: Anything else?_

_Tony: Nope, everyone else in my life has good taste._

Peter was pleased at that. So at least his dad wasn’t lying to him about enjoying the shows he picked. He better not have been; it wasn’t like he was forcing him to watch _Riverdale_ or _Gossip Girl_ or something. Although…that could be kind of funny.

_Tom: I’m happy for you._

_Tony: You should be!_

_Tom: Lol._

_Tony: Anyway, I’m turning in for the night. It was nice talking to you._

_Tom: Already? It’s barely 8._

_Tony: I wouldn’t expect you to understand…teenagers are all night owls. I’m pushing 50 and need my beauty sleep._

Peter shook his head. His dad was already lying to poor Tom just like he lied to him. He barely slept five hours a night. _Beauty sleep my ass._

_Tom: Well goodnight. It was nice talking to you too._

Peter threw his phone down on the bed and sighed. He’d wasted over an hour texting with his dad and hadn’t learned jack shit about his motives or found any opportunity for sabotage. If all Tony was doing was talking to people on the app about movies and shit, what was the point? That wasn’t a crime. Oh well, a few more days of discussion, and then it would be appropriate for him to ask more specific questions and be a little bit more forward. Then he’d get his answers.

“Pete, can I come in?”

Peter glanced at the door. He hadn’t been expecting a knock since he hadn’t heard his dad come up. He thought he was still chilling at the dining table with his precious flatscreen. Instead of Tony coming up to check on him right away, he’d spent all that time talking with Tom, a virtual stranger. Why was he even bothering now?

Peter deliberated just ignoring his dad, but he didn’t feel as pissed off as he had at dinner. Although he should have. He didn’t know what the fuck to think anymore. His moods were constantly changing, and his perspective on the situation was unstable, too.

“Yeah, one sec.”

Tony didn’t comment on the door being locked, to Peter’s disappointment. He sort of wanted an excuse to be bitchy.

“What’s up?” Peter plopped down on his bed.

“That’s my line,” Tony said. “You ran off without saying anything.”

“Nice of you to notice,” Peter challenged. “It’s been almost two hours. If you even cared, you would’ve come up sooner.”

Tony clicked his teeth together. “Would you have actually spoken to me if I’d followed you up here, or slammed the door and told me to go away?”

Peter crossed his arms.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Tony smirked. “I’ve known you your whole life. You think I don’t know to leave you alone for a bit after you storm off?”

“Congratulations. You know me so well.”

“Why are you so pissed at me?”

“I’m not.”

Tony raised an eyebrow at him.

Peter chewed his lip. Where should he start?

_You like men and didn’t even tell me._

_I like men and don’t know how to tell you._

_You’re chatting up boys my age on a dating app._

_You’re replacing me._

_You want me to move out._

_I’m not enough for you._

_Things are changing between us, and I don’t know what to do._

_I’m catfishing you._

_I don’t like Narcos._

“I—” Peter shook his head, unable to continue.

He took a moment before he peeked up at his father. There was nothing but support and curiosity in his expression. He looked so kind, prepared to be understanding. That made it even worse because Peter felt like it was all a lie now.

“I’m just in a bad mood,” Peter explained. “It sounds dumb, but…everything’s pissing me off today. Nothing bad even happened.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Oh, so it’s not because I made a joke about wanting you out of the house?”

“What? No. You always say stuff like that.”

“Exactly, and it never bothered you before, so I’m trying to figure out why it does now all of a sudden. Was I off in the delivery?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, Dad. I don’t know what you want me to say. You joke about everything.”

“Yeah, and usually you laugh and give it back to me ten times worse. Tonight you practically fled the room.”

Peter shrugged. He hadn’t been _that_ dramatic, and he had made a retort about throwing a party of his own. That was something.

“Did something else happen earlier?”

“Something like what?” Peter sighed.

“Something that primed you to overreact?”

Peter whipped his head up to meet his father’s eyes. “Oh, right. I’m overreacting. Yeah, you come marching up here, _demanding_ that I tell you what’s on my mind, and as soon as you even get a hint of it, you’re blaming me for overreacting. You know what? Just leave me alone. I can’t wait to be gone, and then I’ll finally make you happy.”

“What are you talking about?” Tony wiped a hand over his face. “How did we go from zero to one hundred like that? Did I miss something?”

Peter couldn’t believe his father had the nerve to look so confused and upset when he was the one who was in the wrong. All he had to fucking say was sorry. Sorry for making the joke. Sorry for acting like he wanted his only son to leave the house. Just fucking admit that he’d hurt his feelings and apologize. But no, he couldn’t do anything but blame Peter for overreacting.

Peter glared. “You did, and if you can’t figure it out, I’m not explaining it.”

Tony clenched his jaw, and Peter stared up at him unflinchingly. _Go ahead. Say something else._

“I’ll leave you alone, then. We’ll talk about it later.”

Peter waited until his dad was a few steps out of the room before muttering, “Yeah, we’ll talk about it all right. Just like we talk about everything else. Fucking liar.”

He couldn’t resist slamming the door. He hadn’t meant to do it hard enough to crack the wood of the doorframe, but when he noticed the damage, he decided he didn’t care. Let his dad worry about the repairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My oh my. THE TEEN ANGST. It's so fun to write Peter this way because usually I write Peter as a simp for Tony and he barely ever talks back to him...but in this fic I get to have them fight!! Yay. :)
> 
> Please let me know how you're enjoying it so far if you feel like it.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony make up after their fight the day before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the story. I really appreciate the positive feedback I’ve received so far. I just wanted to say I’ve edited the chat formats because I realized they looked good on Microsoft Word and AO3 desktop, but they kind of screwed up when viewing on AO3 mobile. Hopefully that didn’t annoy anybody too much…it definitely annoyed me lmao.
> 
> Also featuring more sassy Peter and silly bantering bc I loveeee it.

Peter wasn’t sure what to expect when he went downstairs for breakfast before school. He wasn’t as angry as he had been the day before, but who knew how long that would last. His emotions were all over the place, and there was no telling what would flip the switch.

He braced himself before he walked into the kitchen. Would his dad try to bring up the argument or brush it under the rug? Did Peter even want to talk it out? Not particularly. Still, he was disappointed when he realized his dad was gone. They always ate breakfast together and then rode together, whether Tony or Happy drove. Peter hated that he missed the man and wanted him there despite their tiff.

In lieu of Tony’s presence, there was a note and a McDonald’s bag.

Peter snatched the note and read it.

_I didn’t want to fight, so I left early to give you some space._

_Good luck on your calculus test._

_Love, Dad._

Peter checked the bag and saw three McMuffins and three hashbrowns. There was also an extra-large coffee with it. Peter wasn’t sure if he quite accepted his dad’s apology, but it was a start.

_Peter: Thanks for the breakfast._

_Peter: I’ll let you know how the test goes._

_Dad: You’re welcome._

_Dad: I wished you luck, but I doubt you’ll even need it._

_Peter: Probably not. ;)_

_Dad: That’s my boy._

Peter debated whether to message his dad good morning on the app while he ate his breakfast. Would it be better if Tom was aloof and waited for Tony to message first? Peter thought so, since he had been the one to message first altogether. It was a dangerous game because if Tony stopped conversing with Tom, it would be good since Peter would be able to see the man wasn’t that invested in random strangers, but if he wanted his answers, he needed to keep his dad hooked and play this out. He made the executive decision to keep Tony waiting. Let him stew a bit.

* * *

“Hey, Happy,” Peter greeted, deciding to get in the front seat since there was no point in riding in the backseat alone.

“What are you doing? This isn’t your seat.”

“I sit in this seat almost every day…”

Happy narrowed his eyes. “Not in the mornings.”

“Well, my dad’s not here, so…”

“I don’t like it.”

“I bet you didn’t say that when he did it,” Peter challenged.

“He drove himself, so lucky for me, I didn’t have to put up with him either.”

Peter frowned. Drove himself?

“Well if your majesty doesn’t have any objections, I’ve been waiting in the driveway for you for fifteen minutes, and I’d like to get going,” Happy interrupted Peter’s thoughts.

“Then let’s go.” Peter shrugged, buckling his seatbelt. “Waiting on you now.”

Happy gave him a side-eye glower before his sour expression dissolved into a smile. “God, your dad’s starting to rub off on you. The Stark attitude is gonna force me into early retirement.”

“You’re not getting away from me that easy, big guy.”

“Yeah, yeah, cool it.”

Peter rolled his eyes. Happy was always so grumpy, but at heart he was the biggest teddy bear ever. Come to think about it, his dad and all of his dad’s friends fit that description.

Peter alternated between practicing formulas in his head and thinking about his dad on the way to school. His dad drove himself? That was strange but not necessarily cause for concern. They’d fought, and Tony had said himself that he wanted to give Peter space which explained leaving earlier than normal, but he still could’ve caught a ride with Happy. Was there something else going on? Maybe it was as simple as not wanting Happy to have to backtrack, but his dad wasn’t _that_ considerate. Peter had a sinking feeling in his stomach that there was more to the story. Maybe wanting to meet somebody on the sly without anyone knowing? Wanting the car to himself so that he could meet a hookup on short notice? Was he going to come home late since he’d left so early?

Peter opened up his text thread with his dad. He could just ask. He didn’t need to let his worries carry him away. After all, it was just a ride, just a car, just another morning like the thousands before it. Peter never used to go to pieces like this over _nothing._

“Why did he drive himself?” Peter blurted to Happy.

“What?”

Peter rolled his eyes for what felt like the seventh time in an hour. What did Happy mean “what”? It was a simple question.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve got an appointment after this, so he’s giving me the rest of the day off. He’s gonna need a car with him.”

Peter was almost annoyed at himself for how much that news soothed him. It was ridiculous.

“Oh, okay,” Peter said. “Have a good appointment. Thanks for the ride.”

“See you tomorrow, Pete.”

Happy gave him a wave and pulled away from the drop off zone. Peter returned the wave and walked up to the school’s entrance. He checked his phone one last time for a message of any kind from his dad and stowed his phone when he didn’t see one. Looked like Tom wasn’t faring any better than him.

First period was Biology, second was Calculus, and then lunch.

Peter nailed his test despite everything that was on his mind and made his way to the cafeteria, eager for the opportunity to check his phone again. He slid onto the bench next to MJ and Miles across from Ned and Betty. They were all chatting away, so Peter wasn’t depriving anybody of his attention by spending his break on his phone.

There were three messages waiting for him.

_Dad: I suspect you nailed the test?_

_Dad: We have enough pizza to last the rest of the year, but I’m feeling burgers tonight. Let me know._

_Tony: Good morning. How’s your day so far?_

Peter answered the good morning message first.

_Tom: It’s okay. School is boring, but whatever._

_Tom: How are you doing? :)_

_Tony: I can’t complain._

_Tony: Well, I could, but I won’t._

_Tom: You can complain all you want if there’s something you want to get off your chest._

_Tom: I don’t mind listening (or reading)._

_Tony: I slept like absolute shit and work is a pain in my ass. How’s that?_

_Tom: Aww I’m sorry. Anything I can do?_

_Tony: It’s fine but I appreciate it. Like I told you before, you’re sweet._

_Tom: You’re sweeter… I feel bad that you didn’t sleep well. What was keeping you up?_

Peter chewed a hangnail while the typing dots appeared and disappeared a dozen times. Was his dad writing Tom a fucking novel about how bratty and disagreeable his son was being? He decided to text his dad back while he waited.

_Peter: Burgers sound legit._

_Peter: Good call._

_Dad: Splendid. I’ll pick you up right from school today. Hap has the day off._

Peter was elated that his dad had elected to delay Tom’s response to answer his text first, _and_ he was going to pick him up? It was too good.

“Peter.”

Peter looked up from his phone. He wasn’t sure who’d said his name, but he guessed it was Betty since she was staring at him.

“What?”

“Who’s got you smiling at your phone like that?” Betty smiled mischievously.

“Someone on that app?” Ned asked.

MJ perked up then. “Dude, you finally found someone?”

“Yeah, bro, I’ve never seen you smile like that,” Miles said. “Kind of creepy.”

Peter frowned. He should not have mentioned downloading the app to his friends at all, although he hadn’t revealed he was using it as a catfish. That was something.

“Uhh…it’s just my dad.”

Everyone laughed at that. Peter didn’t see why it was so funny. “What?”

“You’re like the only person I know who actually likes their dad,” MJ said.

“To be fair, Mr. Stark is amazing,” Betty said. “I’d be happy too if he was my dad.”

“Dad or daddy?” MJ stared at Betty and waggled her eyebrows.

Betty just blushed and didn’t actually answer the question.

“Gross.” MJ narrowed her eyes. “Your boyfriend’s right there.”

Ned just smiled. “It’s okay. I get it, babe. You have good taste.”

Peter rolled his eyes at all of them. He did not want to even think about his dad and Betty.

“He’s cool, but you guys are blowing it way out of proportion.”

“He’s super handsome, Peter. You have to at least admit that,” Betty argued.

Ned nodded with her. “Seriously.”

Peter objectively agreed, but he didn’t say that. Instead, he grimaced. “Ew.”

“The real question is,” MJ began, “did you or did you not find someone on the app?”

Peter groaned internally. He thought he’d dodged that question. “I deleted it. It’s all weirdos.”

“Takes one to know one,” Miles joked.

“Actually…That’s basically the problem. Dating apps are definitely not for me. I think I’m just gonna wait until college.”

Betty nodded seriously. “That’s a great idea. Right, babe?” She turned to Ned.

“Absolutely,” Ned agreed. “No point in dating someone for two months just to leave for school in September. That would suck.”

“Yeah, exactly. Besides, it’ll be good just to spend the summer with my dad. You know, the one you’re all obsessed with.”

“As long as he lets us come over and use your pool, then I stan.” MJ held her hands up.

Peter shook his head and turned back to his phone.

_Tony: I think you’re the only person who’s ever called me sweet. You’ve got me a bit speechless here._

_Tony: I was up late thinking, no need to get into it. How’d you sleep since we’re on the subject?_

_Tom: Not too good, but what can you do?_

_Tony: I could think of a few things._

_Tom: Lol you already used that line before!!_

_Tony: It’s a good line._

_Tom: True._

_Tom: I have to go because I have class, but I hope you have a good day._

_Tony: Back at you. I’ll try to think of some new lines in the meantime._

_Tom: I can’t wait to hear them!_

* * *

Peter recited all the reasons he was pissed at his dad while he made his way to the car. He was happy to be picked up and excited at the prospect of cheeseburgers and all, but it wasn’t a free ticket for his dad to be a douchebag. He couldn’t get away with everything just by buying gifts and brushing things off. They would have to talk eventually.

Peter climbed into the passenger seat without meeting Tony’s eyes or even saying anything. Just because he was nice over text didn’t mean he had to be friendly in person.

Tony pulled away as soon as he was in the car, but he didn’t start a conversation until they were a few blocks away from the school.

“So,” Tony said. “You still pissed?”

Peter shrugged.

“You can at least look at me.”

Peter gave him a quick glance.

Tony started laughing. “Come on, let me make it up to you.”

“How?” Peter hated how easily he gave in. Judging by the pleased expression on his father’s face, he loved how quickly Peter had taken the bait.

“How’s your computer holding up?”

“The one you bought me two months ago?”

“Yeah. That one.”

“It’s all right.” Peter shrugged.

“’Kay, tablet, phone, TV…anything in need of an upgrade?”

“You can’t just bribe me with tech.”

“Why not?” Tony looked over at Peter like he was crazy.

“I don’t know. You just can’t. It’s like if I punched you in the face and then bought you ice cream, so you’d forgive me, and then I punched you in the face again because it’s okay…I’ll just buy you ice cream. Wouldn’t you rather just stop getting punched in the face?”

“I see what you’re saying, but I didn’t punch you in the face. Not a fair comparison.”

“It’s an example.”

“As far as I can tell, all I did was joke about throwing a party when you leave for school, and correct me if I’m wrong, you said you were going to throw a party too, so…why am I in the doghouse?”

What could he say? His dad was right. That wasn’t the issue at hand. The issue was the dating profile, and he was taking care of that as Tom. There was no point in starting shit with his dad in person, accidentally pushing him away even more. That was the most counterproductive thing he could do. What he should be doing is reminding his dad of how much fun they could have together and making him remember that he was enough.

“You’re right.”

“Wait, what? Those words out of your mouth. I don’t understand…Please repeat?”

“You’re right,” Peter repeated, exaggeratedly slowly. “Happy now?”

“It’s a good start…” Tony turned and winked at him. “At least now I can sleep tonight.”

“What?”

Tony looked sheepish when he realized he was going to have to explain. “I was up all night going over our fight. I almost knocked on your door to talk it out, but I didn’t think you’d receive being woken up at 3AM very well.”

“In other words, I didn’t want to die,” Tony added. “At least not from patricide.”

Peter chewed his lip. So that explained why Tony had told Tom he couldn’t sleep. Maybe he did care then? “I was up anyway,” Peter admitted. No point in lying. His dad should hear that he was upset too. 

“Well look at us, then. A couple of babies,” Tony joked. “Crying ourselves to sleep.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m not a baby.”

“You’re 17. You’re a baby. Look, you’re even pouting like one.”

Peter took a breath, so he didn’t demand outright why his dad was okay with talking to 18-year-olds online if 17-year-olds were babies in his eyes. One year hardly made a difference. Instead of scowling and getting into another fight, Peter went for a joke. It seemed like a constructive way to let his feelings out without jumping out of a moving car.

“Well you’re pushing 50, so give it a few years and you’ll be in diapers like a baby. I’ll have to put you in a nursing home.”

Tony laughed. “Wow. So you can say whatever you want, but I can’t?”

“You’re right,” Peter sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s o—”

“I won’t put you in a _nursing_ home. It’ll be a retirement home. Two different things. I hear retirement homes are very tasteful.”

“My thoughtful son, ladies and gentlemen.”

“Hey, you raised me. If you don’t like my attitude, just remember where I got it from.” Peter gave Tony a devilish expression. Happy’s earlier words came in handy now.

“Okay, yeah, definitely my son. I’ll call Maury and cancel the paternity test. His services are no longer needed.”

Peter laughed. This was more like it. Talking shit with his dad and making stupid jokes. Maybe now he’d see that he didn’t need to talk to Tom or anyone like him. They had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "your dad's starting to rub off on you" incest joke sorry xoxoxo


End file.
